


Oh no, matsuda made a group chat

by Personette



Category: Death Note, Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Yagami Light Is Not Kira (Death Note), Am i projecting my issues onto light? Yes the answer is yes., Angst, Bisexual Character, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Discord - Freeform, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Group chat, Kira is a bitch who exists but will not be mentioned, L is a frog, Lesbian Character, Lesbian misa amane, Light is a simp for mikami, M/M, Pansexual Character, Past Sexual Assault, Writing fanfics instead of getting help, bisexual light yagami, group chat - freeform, light is a memy teenager, light is hacker mannn, no beta we die like L, pansexual touta matsuda, that's me, uh yeah that it's
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:15:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26081782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Personette/pseuds/Personette
Summary: Yes this is a group chat fic because there is a lack of them in this fandom and i am here to provide.
Relationships: Aizawa Shuuichi & Matsuda Touta, Amane Misa/Takada Kiyomi, L & Yagami Light, L/Matsuda Touta, Matsuda Touta & Yagami Light, Mikami Teru/Yagami Light, Yagami Light & Yagami Souichirou
Comments: 42
Kudos: 120





	1. Light is a hacker man tm

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by ['The Japanese Brooklyn Nine-Nine'](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26024788) by [infinitefalltohell](https://archiveofourown.org/users/infinitefalltohell/pseuds/infinitefalltohell). 



*Matsu created a group chat*

*Matsu added Light_Bulb*

*Matsu added Yagami_Soichiro*

*Matsu added Aizawa*

*Matsu added Ryuzaki*

*Matsu added Idek*

*Matsu added Mogi*

*Matsu changed group chat name to 🎆✨ Friendship!✨🎆*

Light_Bulb: Matsuda-san, with all due respect, wtf.

Yagami_Soichiro: Light! Mind your language!

Light_Bulb: Sorry, dad.

Light_Bulb: *Matsuda-san with all due respect what the fuck.

Yagami_Soichiro: Light, that's worse.

Ryuzaki: What is this.

Light_Bulb: Oh, ffs, why is THIS bastard here

Light_Bulb: wait a sec

*Ryuzaki is now Frog*

Yagami_Soichiro: Light! Don't swear!

Frog: Light is being rude :((

Light_Bulb: Stfu, idgaf abt u or ur feelings.

Matsu: Guys!!! Guys!! Chill!! I made this group chat so we could communicate outside of work! Isn't that neat?! 

Light_Bulb: No,it's fuckin not.

Aizawa: Light, Please stop typing like that, my eyes are burning.

Frog: So turns even Light “I'm literally perfect” Yagami types like a teenage stereotype.

Light_Bulb: stfu, 🐸

Idek: can we PLEASE change the group chat name tho?

Light_Bulb: K lol, wait.

*Light_Bulb changed group chat name to i hate everything*

Matsu: how did you even do that, you're not even the mod-

Frog: I think we can all accept that Light probably hacked into it

Yagami_Soichiro: Light, no. Change the name to something else.

Light_Bulb: fine, ig.

*Light_Bulb changed the group chat name to ok, boomer*

Matsu: i can not believe you did that, oh my god-

Frog: perhaps light has more balls than i previously anticipated. O.o

Aizawa: considering how he almost broke your nose, i think we all know that he has more balls than half of the taskforce combined.

Light_Bulb: i can fking read these damn msgs, y’know

Yagami_Soichiro: what is this supposed to mean???

Matsu: oh my god, no one tell him

Yagami_Soichiro: tell who what??

Idek: It's nothing, chief

Mogi: why does my phone have 100 notifications all of a sudden

Light_Bulb: blame the frog


	2. Simping geniuses have oblivious crushes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simping geniuses have oblivious crushes

Light_Bulb: do u ever think?

Light_Bulb: not u @matsu, ik u dont have a brain

Frog: light don't be rude to matsuda he is a valuable member of the team

Light_Bulb: but like,,do u ever thnk that we all might be sims or some shit

Aizawa: Light, it is 3 am, please go to bde.

Matsu: You want light to go big dick energy ????

Matsu: aww Ryuzaki, thanks 💓

Frog: 😊

Light_Bulb: Jokes on you fuckers i already have it

Yagami_Soichiro: Everyone go to bed.

Aizawa: sure thing

Light_Bulb: BUT i dont wanna :((((

Yagami_Soichiro:Light, You’re grounded

Light_Bulb: IM IN COLLEGE U CANT GROUND ME

Yagami_Soichiro: yes, i can. Go. to. Bed.

Light_Bulb: FINE >:(

Frog: is he always like this at night?

Yagami_Soichiro: there is a reason Light is forbidden from pulling all nighters.

_*Next morning*_

Light_Bulb: you ever see someone so hot that you almost end up dying of thirst

Light_Bulb:like sir i would die for you, i would have ur children,fuck, please marry me

Matsu: light what the actual fuck

Light_Bulb: ah, fuck, srry wrong gc

*Light_Bulb has deleted the previous messages*

Yagami_Soichiro: light, what were the messages you deleted???

Light_Bulb:uhhh, nothing, dad

Frog: don't worry Yagami-san, i took a screenshot of the messages

Light_Bulb: Ryuzaki, if you don't delete those screenshots right now, i will shove your phone so far up ur ass that you will understand the true meaning of buttdial

Frog: damn bitch ok

Idek: also, light aren't u supposed to be in a lecture rn?

Matsu: he's too busy thirsting over some rando to pay attention

Yagami_Soichiro: Light, since when have you liked guys

Light_Bulb: dad, i can explain

Yagami_Soichiro: you don't need to.

Yagami_Soichiro: i don't care who u bring home as long you're happy

Yagami_Soichiro: and also not dating criminals but that's understood

Light_Bulb: oh,wow.

Light_Bulb: thanks, dad. This really means a lot to me.

Frog: so light is indeed capable of typing normally.

Light_Bulb: first of all,fuck off,🐸

Light_Bulb: also,secondly, he's not some rando, he has a name

Idek: well, what is the guys name

Light_Bulb:uhhh,,,,,idk,,,

Idek:.........

Matsu:........

Frog: you're ridiculous, you know ?

Light_Bulb: this is unfair!!!! Where is the justice?! I have no allies here!!! None!!!

Light_Bulb:i’m calling for reinforcements!

Aizawa: light stop being a drama queen

*Light_Bulb has added Misa² to the chat*

Frog: why would you add her

Misa²: shut up pervert 🐸

Light_Bulb: “Pervert 🐸” omg that's better

Light_Bulb: wait

*Frog is now Pervert Frog*

Misa²: while bullying the frog is always fun why am i here

Light_Bulb: you are here because I'm being bullied for my crush :’(((

Misa²: is this about the hot law student

Idek:the hot law student???

Misa²: there's this really hot fourth year law student at Light's college and Light will not shut up him

Idek: also, wait wait wait, weren't u and Light dating??

Misa²: yeah but then we realised we were gay and better off as friends

Light_Bulb: I'm technically bi but basically yeah

Matsu: oh! Cool!!! I'm pansexual!!!

Pervert Frog: oh, that's nice,,i support you, Matsuda!!

Matsu: thanks 😳

Misa²: anyway, back to Mr. Hot law student

Light_Bulb: yes,,,i love him,,,,

Light_Bulb: he's so incredible i would die for him 

Yagami_Soichiro: die for him?! You met him _FRIDAY_

Aizawa: have you actually ever talked to him

Light_Bulb: uhhhh

Misa²: the answer is no.

Aizawa: ridiculous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mr. Hot law student is Mikami in case you didn't realise


	3. The Teenage Relationship Column

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone here is queer

Matsu: Good morning, everyone!!

Pervert Frog: Good morning to you too matsuda

Idek: only to him?

Pervert Frog: yes.

Light_Bulb: O.o

Misa ²: O.o

Aizawa:O.o

Pervert Frog: What?!

Light_Bulb: nothing

* * *

Misa ²:Do any of you know what class Light is in???

Yagami_Soichiro: He should be in criminal psychology right now

Light_Bulb: im in criminal psych rn, why r u asking

Yagami_Soichiro: Light, dont text during class

Misa ²: Oh i was in the neighbourhood, figured id visit

Pervert Frog: If you are visiting campus, could you please bring me some cake from the campus bakery?

Misa ²:No, i will not contribute to ur campaign of trying to die from diabetes

Matsu: aww, misa , dont be rude!! 

Matsu: dont worry ryuzaki, ill bring you some cake!

Pervert Frog: 😊

Misa ²:Oh my fucking god

Light_Bulb: So ridiculous

Aizawa: For once, i agree

Idek:^

Yagami_Soichiro: ^^

Matsu: what are you guys talking abt????

Pervert Frog: no clue I'm lost as well

Mogi: wow, for a genius, Ryuzaki sure is stupid

Misa ²: anyway, oblivious bicthes aside, when does ur class end light I'm waiting on campus

Light_Bulb: there's still some time left, :(

Misa ²: ugh i cant believe i have to wait for u

Misa ²: FUCK

Misa ²: on second thought please take as long as you want

Pervert Frog: what could be the reason for the sudden change Amane-san's attitude , i wonder

Misa ²: oh my fucking god

Misa ²:i was not aware there were other models on your campus, light

Light_Bulb: there aren't any???

Misa ²: then who's that pretty girl with short black hair and a button up shirt

Misa ²: whos currently walking with Mr.Hot Law Student

Light_Bulb: that's Kiyomi Takada, why are you asking

Light_Bulb: ohh is she around him??

Matsu: i think Misa has a crush

Idek: i think thats bloody obvious

Misa ²: pfft, it'll pass she's probably straight

Light_Bulb: no she's not actually

Misa ²: wait really

Misa ²: I'm gonna go talk to her

Misa ²: wish me luck

Matsu: Good luck, Misa! You got this!

Aizawa: when did this group chat turn into a relationship advice column for gay teenagers 

Light_Bulb: are u implying that was not its original purpose?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok guys so i need ur opinions on this: i was messing around the dn kink meme yesterday and i found some really cool stories that i wanna high key continue them because the plots are cool but i don't have a way of contacting the of author (as they were Anonymous submissions) so do i   
> A) forget abt them  
> B) link to them and continue them here


	4. They're lesbians, Harold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misa has a date.

Matsu: guys

Matsu: do you know that scientists found out that ants count their steps

Matsu: BUT

Matsu: whats more interesting is HOW they did it

Matsu: so they,,like,,strapped little sticks to the ants legs

Matsu: LIKE SOME SCIENTIST MADE LITTLE STICKS AND STRAPPED THEM TO ANTS 

Matsu: LIKE THE POOR ANTS MUST HAVE BEEN LIKE “THE FUCK?!?!”

Pervert Frog: wow! 🥺🥺🥺

Pervert Frog: now im just thinking abt some ants 

Pervert Frog: imagine being an ant

Pervert Frog: no sweets, living in dirt

Matsu: now that you mention it, sounds kinda gross

Aizawa:it's 3am, go the fuck to bed

Matsu: fine.

* * *

Misa ²: ok so quick question

Misa ²:i have a date with Takada-san

Misa ²: what do i do???

Misa ²:if i dress like i normally do is she gonna think I'm tacky????

Misa ²:fuck.

Idek: wait,what 

Idek:how are u on a date

Idek: you met her two days ago

Matsu: they're lesbians ,they move quick

Misa ²:oh fuck

Misa ²:is this even a date????

Idek:how do you not know that?!?!

Misa ²:IDK, WE DIDNT SPECIFY

Misa ²:what if I'm reading too much into this

Pervert frog: Amane-san, just act normal, I'm sure you'll be fine

Aizawa: as terrible as Ryuzaki is at romance and communication in general, that is solid advice

Matsu:hey guys, where's light?

Matsu: he's been really quiet.

Misa ²: hey yeah you're right

Pervert Frog: usually he's yelling in the chat by now

Misa ²: @Light_Bulb, where u at???

Light_Bulb: Yes, I'm here.

Light_Bulb: What do you want.

Matsu: light is everything ok?

Misa ²:yeah you sound a bit down

Light_Bulb: I'm ok.

Pervert Frog: are you sure, Light?

Light_Bulb: yeah.

Light_Bulb: bye. 

Misa ²: FUCK

Misa ²:its time to go bye!!

Misa ²:pray for me!

Matsu: you got this, misa!

* * *

Misa ²:hey someone tell NASA that if they want throw people to the sun, I'm ready to volunteer

Light_Bulb: mood.

Pervert Frog: that would kill you both

Matsu: are u two ok????

Misa ²:I'm not ok (I promise)

Light_Bulb: no.

Idek:damn what happened

Misa ²: so Takada mentioned that there are a lot of plants at her house

Misa ²: and i just said damn the oxygen at your place must be crisp

Misa ²:kill me please

Misa ²: also light you ok?

Light_Bulb: no more than usual.

Aizawa: Amane-san, that is the worst possible response ever.

Misa ²: IK

Misa ²:wait

Misa ²:she just texted and called me over?!?!!! tomorrow??!?

Matsu: wow, looks like miracles do happen.

Light_Bulb: no, they don't.

* * *

L put down his phone, frowning. Light sounded...Off.

Like something was wrong.

It couldn't be anything too serious, could it? Otherwise he would have mentioned it to someone. But still he shot off a text to Amane. She would know.

* * *

[DM  Misa ²and Pervert Frog]

Pervert Frog: Amane-san, could you please talk to Light the next time you see him? He sounds off

Misa ²: yeah, i noticed. I'm planning to talk to him, tomorrow actually

Pervert Frog: that's good. Tell when you do

Misa ²: k.

* * *

Light was fine. He was fine. He was-

No, he fucking was not fine. His hands were shaking, he felt he couldn't breathe and he hadn't eaten anything all day. It's, it's just-

Something had happened last night, he didn't know what, he didn't want to know what but now,now he couldn't stop shaking. He'd never been so glad he didn't have a dorm mate.

It's just, his thoughts were so loud. Light had always thought that he had a perfect memory, but now, now that he was remembering things he didn't want to remember, things that made him feel like his insects were crawling under his skin he wasn't so sure. He hadn't even gone to class today! Mother would be so angry, she'd be so disappointed, and, and she'd-

No. He steeled himself. We are not going down that lane of thought. 

“You're fine” he whispered. The mirror only stared back, a mockery of the person he once was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You thought this was going to be funny? You thought wrong.  
> Also sorry i took so long to write this ,i got too sad to write  
> (Also if you caught the music reference in this chapter i love you)  
> Aslo I'm uploading this from my MOM'S WiFi hotspot so yeah fucking respect


	5. NOT AN UPDATE FOR THE FIC

Hi,everyone. Sorry if you were excited for another update. I,,just wanted to say that this going on hiatus for a while because 

A) I need to study a lot these with exams and everything and barely have any free time

B) I've been sad lately. Like very sad. And I can't really bring myself to write humor. 

C) With great sadness come great loss of motivation! 

~~Basically I'm depressed~~

Yeah, sorry. 

k, love you, bye

**Author's Note:**

> I am clown 🤡🤡🤡  
> (Also I'm working on my hp fic i am i swear)


End file.
